In a season of no reason
Christmas time sure took a beating
From patrician Politicians who
Took away all your usual Traditions, so

No carols, No Queen's Speech
No arguments about politics
No board games, No in-laws
A Whole week spent alone and indoors

Well, it's not big and in no way clever but it
May well be the the best Xmas ever

No pretending you love Jesus
No being fake-charming or facetious, and
No small talk with your parents
Just lovely silence as you open your presents

No Christmas greetings, Just overeating
And ain't that Chrimbo's one true meaning
No painful banter, no fucking Santa
This year's better now that joys been dampened

Now all human contact has been severed
This might just be the best Xmas ever