1. |
The Trouble with Seances
01:30
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Disembodied sounds floating in the air
Hear your father's voice, but no-ones there
Everybody thinks you're overjoyed
But secretly you are just annoyed
MVP of EVPs explains
That your dad's unsettled ghost remains
Contact must be made so you make contact -
On the phone, he's not dead but he's a twat
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2. |
Best Xmas Ever!
01:32
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In a season of no reason
Christmas time sure took a beating
From patrician Politicians who
Took away all your usual Traditions, so
No carols, No Queen's Speech
No arguments about politics
No board games, No in-laws
A Whole week spent alone and indoors
Well, it's not big and in no way clever but it
May well be the the best Xmas ever
No pretending you love Jesus
No being fake-charming or facetious, and
No small talk with your parents
Just lovely silence as you open your presents
No Christmas greetings, Just overeating
And ain't that Chrimbo's one true meaning
No painful banter, no fucking Santa
This year's better now that joys been dampened
Now all human contact has been severed
This might just be the best Xmas ever
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3. |
Turned Off (Ja! Remix)
02:29
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Brap brap brap, and all that crap’s
Exactly what stops me getting into rap
Swinging a machete ‘s hardly high art
The Mozart gang wasn’t packed with Mozarts
You can’t turn it off, He can’t turn it off,
This is his life’s work, his bread and butter
This is your job, but he can’t turn it off,when it
Comes to self-expression, your Law Fox don’t matter
But just cos I don’t admire your life choice
Don't give me the right to control your voice
CBO no! This is travesty,
Little more than Legalised brutality
CHORUS
Did the crimes, so you did your time, now they offer you fresh start
First let us just pre-approve your art
Also move to Norwich or we’ll put you back inside”
Hobson’s choice, need the income to survive ...
CHORUS
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4. |
Another Big Night
01:56
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The reason I was drinking - I watch my love life sinking
beneath the waves of just another night
I always do the wrong thing - Your whole sense of belonging
came crashing down to earth from a great Height
Another big night, big fight, not right, uptight
One more big day, Ok, hooray, everything's alright.
It's not getting better, it's always now or never
So We mourn the morning is in sight
Feeling quite poorly but slowly, but surely,
We advance in our pants into the light
Another big night, big fight, not right, uptight
One more big day, Ok, hooray, everything's alright
In the light
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5. |
Another Mystery Solved
02:33
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Hey there David Icke, time to get truthy
'Cos Die Hard is a total Christmas movie
The plot even starts with a highjacked Christmas party
So ho ho ho there's no controversy
And if I could maybe be so bold (just an anti-vaxxer)
Truth be told, a truth has been told (come to spoil the party)
So another mystery's been solved (call you a a taxi)
In the football match of facts, well, that's another goal
Hey there television, bit long in the toothy
To die on the hill of something so fruity
Also theres no santa, no jesus, no naughty list
The Loch Ness Monster does not exist
And if I could maybe be so bold (just an anti-vaxxer)
Truth be told, a truth has been told (come to spoil the party)
So another mystery's been solved (call you a a taxi)
In the football match of facts, you're just another own goal ...
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6. |
A French Lesson
06:06
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(some french)
Never learnt the words in French for
1500 trucks stuck in Kent
On the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square
Can we see your body hanged there?
(more french)
Chorus
(Even more french)
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7. |
The Void (Part 1)
02:02
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When he says that he loves you
He is lying to your face
Barefaced, he's as bold as brass
So at least you know your place
He will buy you an apartment
and free penis enlargement
In return just sign this parchment
Giving him your endorsement
Maybe Im just paranoid
But I would quite like to avoid
Being sucked into the void
By a human hemorrhoid
His idea of human contact
Is nothing short of a disgrace
He'll only say that he loves you
When he's sitting on your face
But it turns out you can be bought
just bring the right lie to the door
He can buy the free world, but
It Never looked this poor before
You would quite like to avoid
Being sucked into the void
Rather this world be destroyed by
a massive asteroid
Everyone else seems overjoyed
to dance themselves into the void
Hand in hand, they'll be destroyed
leave me screaming into the void
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8. |
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(Is everybody locked in? Is everybody tucked in?)
Dying like yesterdays goodbyes
Perversions are today's golden eyes
They just fall apart in the dark
We all fall apart in the dark
Even the darkest night will end
In an otherwise disappointing day
Even the darkest night will end
In an otherwise disappointing day
Oh hooray.
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9. |
The Void (part 2)
03:00
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The void, the void
The void, avoid the void ...
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10. |
Javier Bardem
02:23
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Have you seen him?
Looks like Javier Bardem
At the end of the garden
Ive got crows so
Scarecrow Javier Bardem
With a massive Hard on
Oh what a carry-on x 3
Not one of the good ones
Oh what a carry-on x 3
Carry on carrion
Crows are winning
Cos that Javier Bardem
Disheartened by the boredom
Got a stratagem
Involves Javier Bardem
And his massive organ
Oh what a carry-on x 3
Not one of the good ones
Oh what a carry-on x 3
Carry on carrion
I will beat off
Scarecrow Javier Bardem
Right there in my garden
The crows will move on
Begging the pardons
Of Javier Bardem
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