Here's a February surprise for you -
Right between the eyes, you bloody chump.
You I never liked so it's time I took a hike.
Happy early Valentine, you're dumped!

I can't spend another day around you
Let alone another two weeks, it's true.
Amongst all your lies, here's element of surprise
Happy early Valentine, we're through.

Tell me what is love? Well, here's the chubby rub -
I spent our entire love life recreating Pornhub
In my mind, behind closed eyes, but I got wise, just don't care
Cos when I open them, you're always there.

I find talking about love so very hard
So I wrote this all down in your valentine's card
You I never liked so it's time to drop the mike.
I packed and left last night. with kind regards.