1. |
Corporate Theme Song
01:54
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Back at last to piss in your ear
Cos you're terrible people - something you've got to hear
We're the tiny paws of fury
And we all knew this peace could never last
You're too lazy and far too complacent so
Now we're back to crap in your breakfast
Yes we're back , Back from outer space
With an alien dildo, gonna ram it in your face
We're the tiny paws of fury
And everything you're doing makes us mad, so
When we've done-a screwing with your mother
you had better watch out for your poor old dad
Proud to be player haters
When you players are deserving of our hate
And there's a whole new dumbo generation
For us to take the piss and irritate
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2. |
Bowl of Ebola
01:45
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I have got a bowl of Ebola
Bought it from a man in Angola
Now I am-a coming right over, with my
Bowl of Angolan Ebola
Pour it into your tombola
Looks like cheese, but tastes of cola
Supping from my bowl of ebola, you
Won't ever get any older,
You won't ever live to be old
No more sausages on sticks
Saturday Fete meet your fate, your fate
You look, like Mark E Smith
Bingo! Bingo! Bingo master outbreak
(Repeat Verse 1)
With my bowl of Angolan Ebola
Angolan ebola bowl
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3. |
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I wish I wish I wish I was Daniel Johnston
I wish I wish I wish I was Daniel Johnston (only not really)
I don't have a basement in which to make my records
I don't take medication or suffer demons for my efforts
don't obsess about a girl for nearly thirty years
Never been on MTV or lauded by my peers
Never been quite good enough to turn my dreams to profit
I don't have a right-wing faith to send me quite psychotic
Or a dad who flies an areoplane so I can crash it
No-one that I know will let me have a hit of acid
Madness seems a small price to pay when
The devil knows my name anyway
And that's my greiviance
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4. |
Sunny Disposition
01:32
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Walk down the street, next guy that I meet
Hope he's got a smile that will make it all worthwhile
A disposition oh yeah a
Sunny disposition I need a
I pick up the pace, looking for a face
It can be real ugly if a smile it is in place
I walk down the street and the next guy that I meet
I punch him in the face cos he looks at me that way
Was so funny freak, boy?
Where's your sunny now?
God bless Schadenfreude, cos
It's giving me a sunny disposition ...
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5. |
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We bombed the shit out of Japan
Kosovo, afghanistan
We bombed the crap out of Iraq
Boom boom now we bomb Iran
North Korea's on our list
Bombin' is a piece of piss
Jean et Jacques better watch their back
Boom boom France next under attack
We're on holiday
And we're not going home yet
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6. |
Out of Your Tiny Mind
02:54
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Neck a mandy, quick half shandy makes you lager-top!
Feeling handy, read the Dandy, Korky calls the cops
You re-heat a seven-sheeter curry from last night
Half a litre of wife-beater then you're feeling right
You're out of your depth this time, you're out of it
You're out of your tiny mind, you're out of it
Got dorritos, pack of cheetos, they won't stop the rot
Stonewashed chinos, cool bambinos, this has got to stop
Desperate Dan with celtic band tatooed upon your glans
Thank you kindly, must decline, see I've got other plans
You're out on your own this time, I'm out of here
I'm out of your tiny mind, I'm out of here
Let's walk ....
Yawn, yawn, yawn, yawn ....
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7. |
Too Fucked to Drink
02:33
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Drunk myself quite sober so I drank myself back drunk
Baby come on over and we'll listen to some punk
We can talk for 'hours bout the things that make us think
All that I'll be good for cos I'm far too fucked to drink
Only ask you round when I have had too much to drink
- Better take advantage babe before I've time to think
Wanted to get wasted? I'm afraid you're out of luck
When it comes to drinking, babe, I'm simply far too fucked, too fucked to drink
Too many hours in the day not enough to take my mind away
Only you'd been quicker, then I might have stood a chance
Tried some self-destraction but my demons wanted dance
You had things to finish, girl, I started without you
Sitting here just waiting, babe, what else was I to do?
We can talk for 'hours bout the things that make us think
All that I'll be good for cos I'm far too fucked to drink
Wanted to get wasted? I'm afraid you're out of luck
Cos when it comes to drinking, I'm just simply far too fucked, too fucked to drink
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8. |
Genghis Khan's Octopus
02:02
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Genghis had an octopus, and he called it Dave
He liked to wear it on his head and go out to raves
He would get lots of sneering looks but he did not care
He'd make it law that octopi were worn as headwear
He would get lots of knowing looks but he did not care
Genghis wore his octopus he just let them stare
Cos he had somebody, yes he had somebody,
Not just anybody, his own octopus
We need somebody, we all need somebody,
But we can't afford to own an octopus -
Poor us!
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9. |
Sand in the Vasoline
01:33
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You're the sand in my vasoline, arthritis in my joints
You're the splinter in my finger, you're the Deep Heat on my groin
You're the sand in my swimming trunks, the dead wasp in my beer
You're the botox in my buttocks, and you better get this clear
You're annoying, annoying so cloying it's true
I'm enjoying, destroying the things that you do
You're the turd in my gasoline, the glass shard in my food
You're the blood stain on the carpet, you're the joke that kills the mood
You're the rip in the condom,you're the business of the day
See, your life is like a car-crash and I just can't look away
You're annoying, annoying so cloying it's true
I take joy in annoying and toying with you
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10. |
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Orton's crass, untimely death in some ways was a godsend
-He wrote all these rubbish plays and had an ugly boyfriend
Joe Meek's not entirely missed - the man was frickin' crazy! Though
Play us 'Telstar' one more time, we'd all shoot our landladies
Brian Epstein's overdose was likely accidental
After all his taste was poor - his lust for Lennon mental!
Hope they're all on Cloud Nine now, In some big boner orchard
Now it's time to give our kids gay icons who aren't tortured
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11. |
You Ate my Pie!
02:45
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You ate my pie- I don't know why
You made me cry - I loved that pie
You've really gone too far this time
The punishment must fit the crime
You've got a lot to answer for
I have to even up the score
You left one slice out for the mice
That was not nice - you'll pay the price
Oh me, oh my, my brain is fried!
You ate my pie, I'll eat your eyes ...
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12. |
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Instrumental.
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13. |
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The camera's out of focus, the acting's quite atrocious in this influential film
The running time's five hours, mainly close-ups of a flower, oh this influential film
The screenplay is surreal, soundtrack made of dying squeals in this influential film
It's hardly Kevin Costner but it's on to win the Oscar for most influential film
Give me spaceships and lazer guns, a Box Office number one
Raccous tomfoolery, gratuitous nudity,
Damn hot lead actors, cos lust is a factor
Sex scenes ecetera the gayer the betterer
Influential film, yes, that's my kind of film
Subtitles are illegible, direction's truly terrible - this influential film
They haven't heard of colour, only serves to make it duller, oh this influential film
Give me spaceships and lazer guns, gore-fests and a feast of fun
Fist fights and fireworks, CGI & wireworks,
Robots and androids, flying into asteroids
Not another Bergman film, about the pain of haemerroids
Chase scenes, exploding cars, not extended metaphars,
Cartoons and puppet shows, enemies who come to blows,
Villains and their minions, a budget of vast millions
And one hour thirty tops, a movie that knows when to stop
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14. |
Badgers Over Basra
02:33
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Badgers over Basra, Badgers on the prowl
Try to kill these badgers, You'll be disembowelled
They're tired of running, away from our wars
Tired of culling, became carnivores
Badgers over Basra turn round in their skins
Bite you on the scrotum, Teeth will sink right in
Humble honey badger, Furry kill machine
Fearsome reputation, You'll see what they mean
Blood Vigilantes Beneath Mother Earth
Upped the ante, get what you deserve
It eats a cow, tears it to shreds
size of large dog with monkey head
Giant killer badgers, blur of fur and teeth
Animal militia, stripey death unleashed
You had your chances but you never learned
Up defences, the tide it has turned
Badgers over Basra coming to your town ....
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15. |
Double Oral Double Anal
01:55
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Double oral, double anal, maybe fatal, surely painful
Antisocial, anti-natal, you can't even lay a cable
Double anal, double oral, Quadri-sexual, slightly awful
Rounder than a Stargate portal, You will need an epidural
Double oral, double anal, Makes your bowels a bit unstable
Leave your mouth so wide you're able, in one, swallow whole a table
not being disdainful, you are quite insanal
Nothing all that playful 'bout two in the same hole
One time a-two time, three time and four
I don't want to join the queue but I'd like to watch it
(Double oral double anal, twice the pleasure, twice the pain
Orifices take a beating, never do this feat again)
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16. |
Kitten on Crutches
01:58
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Pity me, oh pity me, drown me in your sympathy
I'll submit quite readily - you're my master
Pity me oh pity me, treat me like a kiddily
I'll play on quite happily ever after
I'm, I'm making big doe eyes that's making Bambi look like John Wayne Gacy
Oh my bumbling-a charm! You will soon be disarmed - call me William H Macey
I don't want to grow
Pity me, oh pity me, adult life's so fiddily
Grown-up ways just niggle me like a plaster
Pity me, oh pity me, you can join my little league
Walk my child-like quality's gentle pastures
Yes - I will do anything, I will cry 'til you give in, fall into my clutches
Or - I'll lighten up the mood, act unbearably-a cute like a kitten on crutches
I don't want to grow
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17. |
Wing Commander Bingo
01:28
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Tell you in Spring it's an Internet thing
Un-hiss you kiss the LOLcats
All your Bingo are belong to us ...
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18. |
Tippin' A Cow
02:43
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She's looking for fun, shaking in the hot sun uh huh huh
Chewing green gum, doesn't mean that she's dumb, uh huh huh
Tipping a cow - I was surprised
Don't ask me how - cow on its side! - bovine tumblin'
She never complains, happy have you explain uh huh huh
If it's a myth, teacher answer me this uh huh uh - How she
Tipping a cow? Taken aback -
Don't ask me how - Cow on its back - bovine mumblin'
Only drinks pink champagne cos she says all other
Drinks just taste all the same 'cept for milk from the udder
Tipping a cow - it's not a crime
Don't ask me how - cow is supine - bovine slumberin'
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19. |
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Kula Shaker met their maker back in '99
No one died, no suicides, no, we were doing fine
Public warning - they're reforming, un-good for our health
Shit they're churning, fit for burning and very little else
Wall that we built clearly not high enough
Grave that we dug clearly not deep enough
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off - Why don't you
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off -Why won't you
Fuck off fuck off fuck off - Why can't you take the hint now?
We never liked you the first time ...
Cheap and nasty closet nazis get back down the dumper - fuck off!
What part of 'no-one buys your records' aren't you understanding?
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20. |
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I've done a lot of reading
I've looked for things to believe in
I've done a slew of things that make me hue and cry
But nothing quite as bad as what now meets my eye
I've done a lot of drinking
Since we've been out drinking
I've done a lot of things of which I'm not so proud
But what's here in front of me, I don't think it's allowed, so
I've reached this conclusion
Let's clear up all confusion
It took a lot of wine for me to realise
There's much less to you than I thought met my eye
So we'll say goodbye, less than meets my eye, my old jap's eye
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21. |
You Must Get High
03:08
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World may not be such an awful place
I'd much rather be out and about in outer space
World's keeping me from making my escape
So instead I'm set to get completely off my face
I'll, I'll tell you why, you must get high, you must get much much higher
I'll, Ill show you why, if you but try, you'll see the sky
World really seems pretty much O.K.
Eating lots of space cake makes the doubting go away
World's making me think I might just stay
Any world that makes space cakes can't be completely grey
I'll, I'll tell you why, you must get high, you must get much much higher
I'll, Ill show you why, if you but try, you must get high
I'll, I'll tell you why, cos when you fly, you find your lost desires
Now, I've told you why, so if you try, you'll see the sky
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Johnny Cashpoint London, UK
Made of cheese.
